Realizations!~

We think,we contemplate, we do so many things in a day without realizing, that this life could be over the next second. So many people come and go in our lives, and sooner or later we forget them. Of course on a daily basis i don’t expect to remember those who have have passed onto another dimension everyday, but of and on we recall the memories, the good-times we spent with them etc.  I have never had the opportunity to experience the love of grandparents, Dadi jaan passed away before Aba had barely touched 14 and Dada jaan i saw  him last when I was  4 and soon after that he was murdered.  I don’t remember him much. I only wish i could have spent more time with them and I have always felt something missing. An incident I vividly recall from my childhood follows, I was barely 7 and i had newly learnt to ride a bike on 2 wheels and in our tiny apartment i used to go round and round the dining table and the passage riding up and down round and round at odd hours. One evening say it was post 8:00 pm i was riding past the drawing room and it was dark all around just one light was reflecting onto the glass doors of the room. I was riding past and suddenly, just a glimpse i see and then it’s gone. I actually saw Dadi jaan, i swear i did. at that instance i was most petrified. I still see that image in my head every time i pass by that room. It’s been many long years since that happened but it so fresh in my memory like it just happened yesterday.

Nana jaan passed away when i was 11, every summer I would go to visit them but I never had that kind of close bonding with him. I was too young and he was too ill so We never really got a chance to bond. It really feels like a blessing to have the oldies around you because I know what im missing on. We don’t cherish the moments we have with them and later on those regrets kill and when you don’t have them as a part of your existence you really do wish they were there somewhere looking out for you. Where Nanan is concerned I haven’t seen much of her either maybe because she never really lived with us and she spent more time with my other cousins., MashAllah she is alive, but i think due to the distance it’s not the same. Phone talk isn’t the same, and it’s pretty seldom that we get to meet. The love of grandparents is normally said to be the unconditional sort, but I wouldn’t know much of how it feels. May be I have never given it a chance or maybe circumstance hasn’t allowed it. It’s a strange,strange feeling. If only they had lived a little longer, if only I could have had a taste of what Im missing out on. It would have been a much fuller,fatter, happier,and merrier existence. The little bit of what I have experienced is a few stories from Nanan about her past, her life pre/post partition etc, it’s been rather entertaining to know what it was like for them. I don’t quite know  If it is me and my innerself that is at odds. We don’t realize it when they are around but when they aren’t there and you don’t know much of how it feels to have the oldies around , you know your lacking something. Life’s good otherwise just the missing pieces to my jigsaw would have been all the more brighter and nicer had it been complete.:/

Spontaneity of sorts!~

Tuesday we had no plan at all, the past few days i haven’t been sleeping , it’s either been work keeping me up, exam stress, Ma, and a few other things. I thought I would go home finish all my work and sleep early but it didn’t happen like i had planned. Planing doesn’t always work and we know that. So Marley and Momo invite themselves over to mine, now of course  i am not one to say no anyway so we plop at mine. Myself Momo, Marley, Mast and Eik’s reach mine and  I find out Ma needs to be picked up from the Doc’s and these guys were in the mood to drive around town,so leaving Mr D man home, the 5 of us roll the streets of Karachi *Happy Music*and then we pick Ma from the doctor’s. We get home and fish for some eatables and manage to find Twix, Kitkat  Snickers, a bag of Orville popcorn so I microwave that.Once I had them   settled in the cozy blanket with    ’Crazy Stupid Love’ playing with cinema sound the popcorns finished. So now since the movie wasn’t even half way through hunger strikes again. This time round I go to the kitchen make my concoction of Garlic Mushrooms, Buttery corn and Cheddar Macaroni   which these guys loved. Sleepy much that i was, they got me excited.If it weren’t for them, I would have never gotten myself cooking at that hour and that even 3 things..  So, hey it was actually a good thing, it kind of woke me up and satiated the hunger of *5 hungry banana’s*  and after a crazy day *F00d* does make us happy.;) *Blessed Much*

22 Momo-ness!:)

Friday after school Marley and myself  try escaping from uni without Momo finding out. The lost soul that she is, we ran past her unnoticed. *perfectly done* zooming of in my ride,we go home and get to work on thing’s for Momo, compiled a photo collage for her. Found her a twin Momo to give her company etc. Post 7:00 we head out to go hunt for Momo’s present, she had been wanting a wallet for a good 6months and she had patiently been waiting for it. So we look around Hub leather, Crossroads, Samia Shahzada, and finally we find HER type of wallet at *Jafferjee’s* so yes parrot green it is and it says momo too. Then we get candles, snow spray, a packet of balloons and Torte’s special cake on which i iced on a heart and wrote Momo myself since the bakery man was too lazy and he just wrote in a weird wobbly way which  wasn’t to our liking. We got Mast Malang and then headed to mine again. Preparations began. I blew all the air i had in my system into the balloons for Momo, yes there were almost 22 of them and one burst in the process of being blown into. I scared myself, Marley and Mast an Zezo  in the process. Now our grand plan was to surprise Momo at 12:00 p.m midnight. So Marley,Mast and Myself head out at 11:30p.m to accomplish our mid-night mission. I had spoken to Momo’s mama earlier on and planned it all out with her. We were sorted.;) So we sneak into Momo’s house and the 3 of us barge into Momo/s room. Marley holding the balloons and water spray.Mast the cake and i had  an egg in one hand and the snow spray in the other ohhh and from time to time the camera too. so yes Momo was *SURPRISED* she couldn’t believe it. I call it *Mission Accomplished*

Not a 3D but a 23D night!~

Thursday after drawing it’s chilling at mine, not exactly chilling but you can call it semi-chilling semi work night. We sit together and realize that there is so much to talk about, so much to catch up on since i had missed out on all the important updates on life etc.Having been in LAhore for a week earlier on, i was quite hazy on khi updates. Just when i got back, it got so busy that an all nighter plan was a must. Marie was in town, it was dinners and coffees all the time. Mast malang, myself and Momo were so high, high on coke and of course Marley doesn’t need a reason to be high she always is in that mode .Appay’s friend Marie had been wanting to treat me to coffee for the longest and i guess she thought it was the perfect day to go on a coffee *FRIPPLE* date since the house was full and my *tikes* were over. So of course we ditched work for say an hour and a half made our way to awesome *Espresso* the perfect music and of course each drive of mine i remember by the people im with at that point and also the song thats playing. It’s my kind of memory lane and i chose not to forget it. there are times i even write these things down. Each time that song plays somewhere those people im reminded of and it makes me smile and miss them to. So Marley, Momo and Mast malang accompany marie for coffee post 11:30 p.m. *We found love* was the song for 17th night. it got louder and louder each time. We spoke about career options, discussed Marie’s life and how she’s doing what she’s doing. The Pakistani culture and society, conforming to society norms, whats appropriate and whats not etc etc.    Thankyou Marie. Coffee wasn’t it we stopped by to pick up a movie to keep ourselves up *Meray Brother Ke Dulhan* that’s exactly it. The songs would play and due to the highness, movement was uncontrollable. Momo and myself slept at  6:30 a.m while Marley and Mast Malang  were fast asleep on the bed way earlier. Momo and myself had no where but the mattress to nap on.  we did have Uni at 9:00 a.m  Work did happen simultaneously but fun to. Im usually not that good a multi-tasker heehaw, i mean i normally like focus on work but hmmmm, Im learning this way to. Im beginning to realize that things can happen in all kinds of situations, I still prefer no annoyance during work but trying things there’s never any harm.;-P The love for Khi exists deep down but i see it growing, *HIGHER* *TALLER* and *GREENER*

100E! MT

November 05th, the breeze was chilly . So I woke up went straight out to Bonzo and Bonanza, fed them,walked them around the neighborhood, I had wanted to stay home so I could spend the afternoon with them but there was  Lunch at khala jaan’s place. Saroo Apa had cooked for me, and the food was edible *JK* (just kidding) it was super awesome.=D Before lunch, did some groceries and a chore or two. Now at 100E there’s always something or the other going on. I met Danya, Deena and Sakhi and it felt absolutely marvelous as they met me with such delight after a matter of 3 and a half long months. Spent time with the kiddo’s, had a  full fledge conversation with 3 year old Danya , of course  not leaving Sakhi out, he too contributed his bit to our chitter chatter. Danya played her usual game with me, taking of my bangles and rings and puting them back on and this went on for a good half and hour. This little one has patience. These kids of today love the mobiles and so Danya insisted she wanted to take photographs from my phone so there goes my phone in her tiny little hands and it goes *click* *click*  *click*. A little out of focus but not a bad attempt for a child that small.*HIGH FIVE* Danu. Afternoon bonding with Saroo Apa. In the evening, Sama and I went to Mrs field’s (frozen yoghurt joint) with Asad, we tried *rainbow flavored yoghurt* which tasted *GROSS* and left an after taste of *Calpol* We headed right out to *Marble Stones* where we had reasonably good ice-cream *cookie dough* for me and the others had *Mud-pie mojo* after which I met Goshi for practically 5 minutes at main M.M Alam. The catch -up session was indeed very short so it’s waiting till December.

Post 11:00P.M it was to K mamu’s place where I had Q mami’s homemade*absolutely delicious* hummus. In the company of H. Uncle and K mamu, We discuss fashion, trends, media, the west, cars, stunts and remote control gadgets. So the night gets interesting and im wide awake. I think the *brandy cake * did it for me. So we roll and then it’s a drive back home say about 2:3 0a.m or so. *Starry Night*=)

Calligraphy!

Black Ink and Gold Led.

Vision from the sky right down!

From up there, down below!

Khi to Lhr!~ Nov04

My journey started  Friday afternoon when i left university and made my way to the airport. Some of my close chuds, went to drop me which was absolutely splendid * made me feel on top of the world* =D yes it truly did. Checked in etc etc and upon boarding I find out that it’s a PIA flight but the catch is we go Greek and Jordanian crew, 0h no’s. hmmmmm to be more exact  PIA had leased Greek planes and jordanian crew ran the services. Hmmmmmm a shock to me , never seen or experienced something so absurd on a travel journey and that even on domestic travel. The plane was in shambles, It felt like a one of those old ancient computers, big, hideous and bulky with wires popping out. woaaaaa, the engines turned on and the noise was piercing. These engines and cockpits fascinate me. The numerous buttons, gears, brakes and what not, so much fun. The little dexter awoke in me. Anyhow all said, the fear bit came too, will this plane land, wont it, do the wheels work etc etc random thoughts ran through my brain. *safar duas* said and we take off.I got a seat right at the back, tail end of the plane, which added to the bouncy journey. Turbulence was a nightmare. i think i said all the ayats and kalmas i knew. On my left i had a girl from AKU sitting next to me, so we randomly got talking, and she was from Lahore as well, we seemed to have a few friends in common so from there on conversation sprang and that was a little settling. My tummy was playing knots and crosses through out the journey. The landing was a bumpy sort, almost felt the  plane was out of control, the feeling was awful. The air pressure was crazy much and the shrill sounds were unbearable . Once the plane came to a final stop, i breathed a sigh of relief from this traumatizing roller coaster. *phew* got the luggage got out met Majeed bhai and once i was home the first thing i did was give the Eid goaties a hug each*Bonzo & Bonanza* I called them, did a little bit of baby chatter with  them and petted them on their cute little headies. There was a gathering at Nanan’s place so we all had Khaana together. A dinning table full of people and yum food makes all the difference. For some this wouldn’t mean much but since this is a rarity for me I enjoyed every bit of it. The weather was brilliant, slightly drizzly, i say *Perfect* Aba and Apay I missed you.

2nd Nov*Happy Birthday Mama*

If only there was time, busy days essays, weaving, photo projects, cd burning  and so much more happening. I had no time to bake, i had really wanted to make an unbaked cheese cake because Ma really likes those but due to the sparse time factor I just went ahead and got her a yummy *espresso chocolate cake* . Since it was just myself and her, it was rather lonesome without Aba and Apay. I felt awkward handling things on Mama’s birthday on my own,  I mean it’s not like i couldn’t handle it, the whole thing just felt a little weirdy. So i tied a red ribbon to the knife, set a tray with a candle and 2 little plates, a card and i should say that was about all. I tried to do the best I could with the amount of time i had and also  the fact that i didn’t want her to feel the absence of Aba and Apay. Of course everyone called to wish mama and yeap it’s always a pleasure to be wished on your special day. I could tell that she enjoyed my little mid-night surprise which she had least expected. Im glad it went well. Further plans for the day are still to be decided.=)  *it’s the *Mama love*

Here’s a picture of my *pleasant surprise*

Tiny mid-night surprise!~

Spin!!

Mornings have started becoming chilly, and i find myself covered up in a blanket in the morning strange, strange, i  thought to myself *exchange of brain waves goes on on my head* and i say Hey it’s just almost November. Anyway its still not cold enough for a sweater hehe but winters are fun, the hair stays in place for a change, friction of course but over and above that it’s not sticky and sweaty. Bang 8:35 i was at uni, got down to looming asap and i was quite surprised at my speed, got done with 16  Inches, i call that some accomplishment considering i unweave d  several portions  quite a few times. Getting on to the more interesting  bit my my todays escapades was *Blackoo Love* it’s actually called *AWH 108* Khair getting on with that I bought Blackoo  a whole new music system, with the camera, dvd player etc like the whole works, got the Pioneer system removed which i plan to take to Lahore with me and install it into my  Husky grey Citi, thats another one of my loves, i can spend hours and hours with my cars, just doing them up , making them all the more techno of course  minus the cheapness. I wanted  Blackoo to be Bluey but though luck, you don’t and cannot possibly always get all you want. So here’s a lesson reinforced and well learnt. *Be happy with what you got*  A thought just came to me as i wrote this, the other day i was having dinner with Zezo and Hanif Bhai and i realized we got into a major discussion on how this life is soon going to be over and how the next one will be like. INTENSE i call it,  so we all gave our in put etc and  how we all came to the conclusion that  everything going to be left behind and we will leave this place just wrapped in a mere piece of white fabric. This is reality, It really doesn’t matter what you have or what section of society  you belong to ,  at the end of the day we all are headed to the same destination.  I was thinking that we spend our life in this world working so hard  to make it in this world, i mean in terms of making it materialistically but do we ever think about how we are going to make it to our final destination. Nah i don’t think so, in all honestly, I pray but i don’t call myself religious. It’s strange, sometimes prayers really come out from within and you can feel it deep inside, other times you have so much going on in your head that your just praying for the sake of it and then getting back on with life and other things that are bothering you.  So, concluding the conversation with Zezo and Hanif Bhai we found the leveling grounds that money and power are both things present in this material world and life  hereafter will be very different to what we are living today. Again i think im repeating my point, we try so hard to work, of course it’s not a bad thing to work but i was just pondering upon how much time do i really spend conversing with God. I i think about it, maybe i don’t even give that quarter the amount of time i give this material world. hmm , lots of people will not even agree with  what im trying to get at, but i don’t real mind, everyone’s instilled to their own separate opinion. This is my view, im sure others will have even more interesting things to say on this or some will just choose to let it pass unnoticed. Besides the point, so here I carry on with my story of Blackoo, the loom was getting to me so i had had my fill of rib poking for today although a friend of mine tried making me work, hehe gave me bit’s of motivation and tons of excitement which totally got me of balance hehe, it’s always a yes to fun when i know that yea  i can manage the work later on, but if i had like a crashing deadline i had to meet then of course the fun would have had to wait.. A wheel spin to unwind was necessary and so i found perfect company. Lots of talking, chilling, seriousness, heart to heart, love, fun and music with splendid company. I have a few people in my life, whom I chose to keep in the close proximities of my heart.Those people are there to stay for life or else they wouldn’t be in that categorized boundary of mine . The aspects of relationships is extremely important to me, so to all  those i call sisters and brothers, this ones to you. Life’s a short journey, put on your skates and lets go weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee., that’s my version of it. *giggles*  I was having a major chocolate craving today, didn’t have any that’s another story. hehe so after my long drive I come home and theres work for me, so i run off turn on the ignition  and drive to BBQ Tonight, pick up dinner and get back home. Ma and myself, zees and Hanfi Bhai have dinner, and since Ma still hadn’t driven the car takes me out a drive, haha so we go have Movinpick , Me Zezo & Mama. Upon getting home, I explore the new put techno system in the car, the Dexter  gear is turned on once again *What does this button do?*   X-ray and I have a long conversation on her Baba Adam issues,mishaps etc, my Zumba comes into action not for to long but yea i try keeping with the beat but today was just not the day for it.  Done with 1200 words on Yinka Shonibare and  o the work *Scramble for Africa* it’s quite something,must check it out as and when yo can. There’s so much it talks about and one can write volumes. hehe i got down to analyzing just a section of it and i found myself going on and on. Must get wrapping  300 more  and catch some sleep.*nite*