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The inner feelings surface!

I haven’t been giving myself anytime at all. Seems as though a 24hour day is to short, there is so much that needs to get done and until one doesn’t pull quite a few all nighters it gets impossible. Theres a lot that goes on in my little mind, from explosive vibrant ideas to the clamor and all thats pent up within. I choose to keep most things to myself, share my life and my thoughts,talks etc with only a few selective people with whom i find a deep connection with and by that i mean  *close ones* only those that i feel are worthy of my trust . Im more of a listener with most and it’s a good feeling to know that most people find me approachable and easy to converse with. I  talk to few people on open grounds and that only happens when im comfortable with them otherwise it’s just general blabber with most. I take my time with people but once they get to know me and i get to know them then it’s peace for life and friends till departure from this life to the next. Hmmm life lately has just gotten a bit to over worked, lots of stressing, things playing on my mind, several issues that arise in the course of time that become a bother, still hopeful though that sooner or later things will calm down,peace shall be made and life will feel better. Theres always work, endless amounts of it and i don’t like it getting piled up on me. I like an organized kind of work schedule which i try and follow religiously, sometimes for the sake of fun or illness i go off it but most times im well synchronized. It’s never easy balancing your life and time, that for the most part  remains shaky but to keep that on track i make my bits of effort and leave the rest to the One watching over us above. Life doesn’t stop and wait for you, it expects you to run along side it and you have to make it happen for yourself.  My thought’s yes i haven’t given them much time or importance for a while and now they just don’t seem to stay inside. Theres a jumble somewhere, somethings missing and i haven’t quite figured out what. Maybe it will come to me maybe it wont no use stressing over it so i might as well get myself excited about It being  mid-october,less then 2 months to December break, am i looking forward to it, im not quite sure. Shaky grounds as i mentioned earlier ughhhh its back to that, when I had begun 2nd year this issue has risen and at that time i was really miserable at Ivs things made no sense, lack of family, the new beginning etc, i was just new to it all, now just when things are becoming familiar and im more or less used to it, the issue arises all over again. At some level I understand the Khi situation and i think i can handle it but when the *biggies* become adamant then what convincing can one do.  Still haven’t lost hope, im going to try and make it work my way. I  question myself shouldn’t it work my way? on one level i think it’s a selfish thought but on another i think well hey shouldn’t it be about how i want it to be because it’s concerns me. If i think more i’ll get into the philosophical discussion of the hows?what? and why nots? so id rather just shshhhh!

December seems like it’s going to be a whole lot of fun the 2nd year trip etc but what lies January i still don’t know, and i don’t like not knowing. I cant do much about it so i’ll patiently wait  and when the time comes i’ll deal with it in whatever way feels best. Im addicted to this one particular song currently. It goes like *GOD gave me You*  the lyrics just blow me away. It makes me think of all those *Brilliant Sparks* that are and that  have come into my life and have brightened it up. Here’s to them;-

For all the times I felt cheated, I complained
You know how I love to complain
For all the wrongs I repeated, though I was to blame
I still cursed that rain
I didn’t have a prayer, didn’t have a clue
Then out of the blue

God gave me you to show me what’s real
There’s more to life than just how I feel
And all that I’m worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn’t know why
Now I do, ’cause God gave me you

For all the times I wore my self pity like a favorite shirt
All wrapped up in that hurt
For every glass I saw, I saw half empty
Now it overflows like a river through my soul
From every doubt I had, I’m finally free
I truly believe

God gave me you to show me what’s real
There’s more to life than just how I feel
And all that I’m worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn’t know why
Now I do, ’cause God gave me you

In your arms I’m someone new
With ever tender kiss from you
Oh must confess
I’ve been blessed

God gave me you to show me what’s real
There’s more to life than just how I feel
And all that I’m worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn’t know why (didn’t know why)
Now I do (I finally do), ’cause God gave me you (God gave me You)

God gave me you!

love life even when your hit by the low tides, you learn to get by and get beyond it sooner or later. 🙂

Takes a moment and thanks the Lord for everything big and small and most of all for this air that im breathing and the life that im living~


About fatimasiddiqi

Life is an eternal quest about knowing oneself.The deep root of failure in our lives is to think, 'Oh how useless and powerless I am.' It is essential to think strongly and forcefully, 'I can do it,' without boasting or fretting.I am one of those people who love the why of things.

2 responses to “The inner feelings surface!

  1. oi Fati.. it will bealright, you are a hard worker, your mind works like a super machine heh. i love music so im listening to this, its good 😛 alright talk toyou soon..

  2. THankz for sharing ur thought…. It was beautiful though…. as said earlier that tiny things are the most beautiful things and maybe they have beautiful thoughts as well 😛

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